Struggling with the holidays again - not so much the actual holiday, but the 'feeling isolated and alone' aspect of it. From what I remember, last year's vacation went pretty well and I felt alright, for a change. This year, it seems to be back to 'normal'. I've had one person reach out to me (other than family, whom I don't really care to talk to), but messaging simply can't replace being with someone, in person (well, someone I actually *want* to be with, that is).
Holidays always make me wonder why I bother with life. How many years can a person stand being alone, being without mutually reciprocated love, be that friendship or more? Actually, scratch that - friendships may serve a purpose, but for me, they're no reason to live, they would just be a nice bonus, if I had them. I do have dating choices, women I could date around here, but not one of them is remotely my type. Well, maybe one, but we've only had one date & she's married with kids & lives 1.5 hours away, one way (in good weather). It's never going to amount to much.
Just like my life, I suppose.
6:53 p.m. - 2023-12-24
Recent entries:
Two more deletions. - 2024-02-01
Out with the old. - 2024-01-30
Itemized, INPO - 2024-01-28
Moving on. - 2024-01-01
X-mas. can. suck. it. - 2023-12-24
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