No more alcohol 'experiments'. The only thing that was different about last night compared to most of my nights was having that one beer, and I slept terribly last night. I took 20mg melatonin 45 min before bed (typical amount for me), then after lying there for about 30 minutes, got up to take a sleeping pill. 30 minutes or so later I still wasn't sleepy, and had to take a bunch of ibuprofen because I had that 'rushing' sound in my ears like I would when I over-trained. According to my ring tracker, I finally fell asleep about 2 hrs after I 1st went to bed. I woke up this morning with something pinched in between my shoulder blades too, and that prevented me from getting a full workout in this afternoon.
I don't think beer/alcohol is worth this kind of trouble, so no need to explore it. I'm simply not physically able to drink anymore, and honestly, I'm not sure that I'll miss it. Yes, it was my only source of socializing, but as I've mentioned before, I spent over ten years trying to convert 'bar-friends' into actual friends with no success. I don't hear from any of them anymore unless I go out or reach out to them, and one-sided efforts are a waste of my energy.
It does reinforce the idea though, that I'll likely be alone for the majority of what remains of my life. In the last couple months, I've actually reached out (on each of the dating sites I'm on) to dozens of women I found even somewhat interesting. Not one reply, so I'm guessing it's time to give up on that as well. I would revert back to relying on introductions through friends, but that requires one to have friends, so...
1:47 p.m. - 2022-09-11
Recent entries:
Still sleeping like shit. - 2022-09-20
Maybe it's just me. - 2022-09-15
Underground. - 2022-09-14
Early morning. - 2022-09-13
Wake - 2022-09-12
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