Wasted most of my evening at the shop yesterday waiting to get my cycle back, so I ran out of time for my workout. Had the worst night of sleep I've had in quite a while last night, maybe got 2-3 hrs, even after taking some melatonin - just couldn't get my mind to shut off. (By the way, does anyone else have this issue? When I close my eyes at night, I can still see the inside of my eyelids - ok, not literally, but - anyway, I end up spending the ensuing hours looking around at the space behind my eyes & listening to the house, the neighbors, my breathing, my stomach, the blood rushing through my head when I lay on the pillow a certain way, the furnace kicking on & off again... and as that whole process is an active thing, I can't get to the point of letting go of my consciousness). Feeling pretty exhausted today, so will likely skip my workout again. Maybe I can push the whole week back by a day & not lose much?
So tired...
Anyway, I'm feeling quite a bit more in control of my faculties today. Many reasons, most of which I won't get into, but hopefully, this will be the last of the bad days for a while.
Oh, and I got a new phone activated today. I transferred my contacts over, but deleted several of them in the process, intentionally. I figure if I haven't heard from them in months, why bother? If they do contact me in the future, I can just use the old 'new phone, who dis?' excuse. I've also seriously considered blocking some people on the list (my ma, sister, Viv & GRJ, among others) because i really have no desire to talk to them again, but after thinking it over, I'd rather know whether they've actually tried to contact me or not. Doesn't necessarily mean I'll get back to them if they do, but at least I'll know.
12:06 a.m. - 2020-02-05
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