Forgot to mention, last Friday at the Well, I ran into a gal I used to work with & met her wife. We sat & talked for over an hour over drinks (& my friend J showed up too, the woman that made the painting for me). They'd asked if I was single at one point & knew someone they wanted to introduce me to, and the wife got my contact info, and also invited me over to hang out the next day with them. End of the night, I got hugs from both (twice) on the way out (their instigation, not mine), and I got another text from the wife @ 3am, again inviting me to hang out the next day.
I replied later that morning, asking what time frame they were thinking for getting together, as I had a lot of little things to do that day. I didn't hear back from her; in fact, I still haven't. I wish I could say I was surprised by this, but it's so typical now that, while pretty disappointed, I'm fairly unphased by it. I've figured out that basically what's happening is that when people are drinking, they're outgoing, gregarious even, and open to life. When they sober up the next day, they're like, "what was I thinking?" and rather than have an awkward conversation, they just avoid sending a response.
I don't know what it is that would make people second-guess being friendly with me, but it happens most every time I meet someone new at a bar (or when drinks are involved). This is one more reason I have such trouble trying/wanting to meet new people - I'm tired of building my hopes up about a possible new friend (not even dating necessarily), only to have that person ghost.
I did create a new dating profile on a different website today, though. Only one picture (selfie) because I have no friends who could take pics for me, nor do I do anything that would warrant picture taking. I also reused some of my previous profile text, because I feel it still applies (and maybe because I'm feeling just a tad, mentally lazy?).
I don't expect any replies, but who knows? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.
p.s. still haven't heard from Viv - we're supposed to hang out sometime this week, (was implied through conversations to happen during the beginning of the week) but as tomorrow is a holiday & she has a wife & kid, I'm thinking it's not going to happen. Also, I had to unfollow GRJ on facespace for my own mental health. I've lost track of how many times she's driven an hour south to my town for various non-work-related things, and not once has she let me know she'd be in town, or made any effort to contact me. I've seen her maybe once in person in the last three years, because after two years of excuses, I gave up asking her to hang out. I really wonder what I'm doing wrong in life to make all these people want to avoid me...
12:49 p.m. - 2019-07-03
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