Still feeling a bit hopeless, but the "black cloud of doom" seems to have lifted somewhat. I'm still managing to do "what I'm supposed to do", like going to work, lifting, etc. I had a real struggle with wanting to drink this past week. I bought a 6-pack of microbrews a week ago & they sat in the fridge for a few days before I had one. I spaced out the first three over the course of the week, then one night I decided to finish the last three during/after dinner. Believe it or not, I didn't do so with the intent of getting drunk (and I didn't - maybe all the food prevented it?), I did it just so I could get them out of my house, because I didn't want them here anymore, but didn't want to throw them out. I'm currently not wanting any alcohol, so that's good.
This week was a "deload", so I again decided to test my max lifts. Came up short on my squat on Monday (#315, best was #325) and my bench on Wed (only got #185, best was #205), but I managed a PR on my deadlift - #365 (that's 166Kgs for anyone outside of the US) - #20 better than my previous of #345, so I was pretty pleased with that. I did my bench after that, which I think is why I failed. Going to try bench again on Friday evening, see if I can get it better. I'm supposed to go to strongman training this Saturday & the guy said he'd help me with developing a new training routine. One of the other guys is trying to talk me into entering a contest that runs in October, but I don't think I'll have enough time to prep for it. Anyway, blah, blah, blah, who cares...
I can't think of anything more to write at the mo... I'm sure there's more, but I feel like this is an exercise in futility (much as my life feels), so I'm going to stop.
7:27 p.m. - 2015-08-27
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