Had to stop over to help my old drummer (JP) with a brake line on his car tonight. Turns out it was really rusty so we couldn't get it loose, but I told him to keep spraying it with WD40 for the next few days, then try again.
While working on it, we talked a bit, got caught up. The guy really makes me sad. I think I mentioned it, but he got married last year (maybe longer?) to a gal who has 6 kids who stay with her. I don't know what she does for a living, but it turns out he doesn't have his old job anymore at the grocery store deli, he's working at subway. I thought that was pretty cool, because he worked for them years ago as a shift manager (or similar) and I asked him about management opportunities. He told me he doesn't want the responsibility, that he's happy working part-time hourly. Now, that's fine, but the car that's in his driveway that needs the brakes? It's been sitting there for over a year, because he has no money for repairs. He has a moped (scooter?) that he used to drive to work, but it's in his garage, not running because - yep - no money to fix it. He's always been broke, yet he always finds money for booze. He's a hugely talented musician, and... Ugh, it just makes me so sad that he has no ambition, no motivation to better his life/circumstances, or even educate himself on things, especially now that (oh yeah, I forgot to mention) his wife is pregnant - they're going to have another kid (their 1st together).
The entire time we were talking, he's telling me how he has to be careful he doesn't overdo it, because his health is so fragile (my words). He has gout that he takes meds for, and arthritis (caused by the gout, I'm guessing?) and if he overworks, he gets nerve issues in his arms/hands, yet, he doesn't do a thing for his health. He drinks daily,has to take sleeping pills nightly to get to sleep while also drinking. He actually told me that when he wakes up in the middle of the night (a regular occurrence now that his wife is pregnant, because she snores, he said) that he has to drink to get back to sleep... in the middle of the night...
I know we all have issues, and we all deal with them the best we can, but seeing him not care enough to even try to improve things in his life? So discouraging. I'll be honest, I'm not going to be able to hang out with him, or likely even talk to him any more. I can't allow that kind of defeated attitude into my life - I struggled with that myself for long enough.
Gods, I feel like such a judgmental asshole after re-reading this. Sorry if it comes across that way. I probably shouldn't even post this, but how I feel is how I feel. There's so much more about the situation that is influencing this perspective, but I don't even want to write about it. Ugh, going to just stop now.
9:27 p.m. - 2015-08-11
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