How long do you suppose it will take until I don't have the urge to go out to bars/venues anymore? I'm so tired of those people/that scene.
There's really only one positive thing about going; it's that I get to socialize. Unfortunately, it's with people who really aren't any good for me. I want to meet/hang out/surround myself with people who are intelligent, unique, uplifting, supportive, etc. not a bunch of pot smoking alcoholics.
I stayed home tonight, even though there was a really good show at Lou's - two bands that I enjoy, one of which I've played on the same bill with before. I know that I would have known a lot of people who went tonight, but I'm just not in the mood for their drunken revelry.I no longer believe there's a chance I'll meet anyone that I'd actually *want* to date at one of these things anyway, and truthfully, that was a big reason I used to go. Of course, I did like the music too, but it seems that there's no way to enjoy it without having a bunch of drunks around, so it looks like I'll be giving that up too.
So, it looks like the extent of my life is now going to be; work, eat, fix up the house, play a little music here by myself, cut the grass every so often, and lift weights/work out.
Oh, and I deactivated my profile again. It's the same few dozen women it has been for the last year or so (literally). I'm not a "pursuer", and I've already contacted the ones in whom I'm interested with no luck, so it seems that's rather pointless as well. Looks like I'm going to have to find some fitness groups or something? I don't know.
Maybe I should just accept that I'm going to be fixing the house, playing guitar, and working out by myself until I'm dead, so I can come to terms with the idea. I really don't care what it ends up being, I just want/need to find some peace, somewhere inside. I haven't felt that in so long...
11:22 p.m. - 2015-07-17
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