Been thinking about it all day, and I think what it comes down to is that, I've tried this before with a more-or-less mentally stable girl (Viv) and found after a short time that I was the one who was having trouble keeping things detached & "just physical". I'm no good at it. I can cope with/suppress physical desire, but I can't undo things, so I think I'm going to have to tell her it's friends-only or nothing. I'm going to tell her about the time I tried it with Viv (without telling her who, obviously), and explaining how that turned out, as my justification.
KW has been pushing the "better to have loved & lost" angle, saying she'd rather just have me for a short time, than never knowing what being with me was like and always wondering. I can understand that, but I think, (although I'm not going to say this to her) that we've already sort of done the "dating" thing a bit; we've hung out, we've sat & talked all night (several times), gone out drinking, gotten food together, and slept together a few times. We've also gone through classic break-up issues & discussions as well, so in my mind, it's already happened. I think she just doesn't want to give up on the idea, because (based on her descriptions of her previous b/f's) I'm the nicest, most with-it, and physically compatible guy she's ever dated. Of course, she's young, and I'm sure that will change for her eventually, but she probably can't see that right now.
I have to head out to the garage for a workout right now, then shower & head out to pick her up. I don't know what we're going to do, but I hope i can keep her from drinking a lot tonight. Every time she drinks, she's all over me. And then after a bit, she gets emotional, and difficult, etc... I told her last night that I'd pretty much quit drinking again, so I'm hoping to use that as an example, that maybe she'll follow my lead, at least while we're together.
Wish me luck, I think tonight is going to be "dramatic".
Oh, did I mention there's another girl at the sandwich shop that seems to be taking an interest in me? The last few times I've gone in, she's seemed to go out of her way to try to talk with me. I need to get myself in the frame of mind to chat her up a bit, (maybe ask her name 1st off!) then maybe next week, see if she has plans for the weekend, etc. SSG has seemed to be more friendly towards me again too, so I wonder if they're talking at all about me with each other?
I just need to get my mind off of this KW situation and try to move on.
Thanks again for putting up with my rambling, & thanks for all of your input too. It's been really helpful to organize my thoughts.
6:34 p.m. - 2014-10-09
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