The shitty part about being ill is that it fucks with my mind, like I'm in a computer simulation or something. I haven't been out since I came home Friday, I haven't talked to anyone, nor seen anyone. All of the things I read online, for all I know, could be just figments of my imagination. What proves that I exist, if nobody sees or interacts with me? How do I know that I'm not dreaming all of this, and that I'm not still in bed? How do I know that I've even ever been alive?
I know this is silly, and rationally, I have to laugh at myself, but on a strictly internal energy/feeling level, it makes me wonder. It's probably the meds, but still, I find it interesting to ponder. What defines a person's existence? Without external stimuli, from other people, can one prove they exist?
I suppose it doesn't help that I'm an active lucid dreamer, although I can always tell when I'm sleep dreaming. Or can I?
Heh... I amuse me...
P.S. of course, I did just watch 12 Monkeys, so that might have something to do with it, now that I think about it...
9:38 p.m. - 2014-03-08
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