Remember that quote from my horoscope today? "If you can't get rid of the old, you can't add anything new"?
Got a text today from the Joker (I wrote one entry about her this year, back in June!?) - her guy dumped her. She had mentioned to me a week or so ago that they'd had a talk & he "needed some space" (she had been crashing at his house a lot recently, as she just lost one of her two jobs.) I called her right back to make sure she was alright, as I didn't know if it had just happened, or if it was earlier. She was doing ok as can be expected - it had happened yesterday, I think, and today she'd been crying all day at work. I feel really bad for her; she was so excited about this guy! We talked a bit about our situations, as my "estrangement" has been bothering me more than it probably should, and more than I let on to people outside of this journal.
If you don't remember, or don't want to read back, but I've had a thing for her for ages. She's really cool, really cute, a musician, but a bit of a pothead. (I don't know how we'd do long-term, but I think we could have some good times dating.) She's currently training to run a half-marathon in October, which is amazing to me, but very cool. She actually invited me to run it with her, but I won't make the mileage in time, I think. Anyway, I'd mentioned something a while back to her about grabbing a beer with her sometime, and today she told me, "Well, I'm ready for that beer, and a cycle ride..."
You know me, I tend to read too much into everything, but I think it would be interesting if things went somewhere with her. I'm still pondering this CC issue, but the longer I go without hearing anything from her (after having *so* much contact previously) the less I care to even bother discussing it. (CC knows how much value/emphasis I place on communication, yet she's pretty much closed me off, so - I need to get back to that topic in a bit...) Anyway, I'm trying to keep myself open to other things, so I'm now pondering these events, and the coincidence that my horoscope seems to fit the situation so well. Here's another example; it's my "Romance" horoscope for today...
Why make this unnecessarily convoluted? Just because the issue looms large doesn't mean the solution has to be complicated. Hard to believe, but true. There's an easy way out for both of you if you can see it.
Solution seems to be pretty simple to me - CC & I might get along well, but at a minimum, it's just bad timing, and not going to work right now. That's what I see anyway. That being the case, and the Joker becoming newly single? Maybe it's a sign that I should focus at least some attention on that possibility!? I don't know...
What I do know is that I'm starting to second-guess my desire to move to Germany, not due to the Joker or anything, but I'm starting to realize that it would mean getting rid of practically all of my stuff, and there are some things I'm not ready to let go. I'm working on ideas for storage facilities, but storing a non-running car is really difficult, not to mention pricey, as well as the fact that I have two motorcycles I want to keep, and my bass guitar, amp & cabinet, and my weight set, etc... Ugh. I've no idea WTF I'm doing... I really dislike being so wishy-washy.
Oh, and go figure this out... tonight, I'm really in the mood to get laid. Not gonna happen, but damn, wtf?
Time to go for a run, then stop off for a beer somewhere, I think. I'll come back to the CC thing later, if I remember...
7:21 p.m. - 2010-08-24
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