Ready for some weird, new-age-y shit!? (Really, it only sounds like that - it's actually based in eastern philosophy.) I got to bed at a reasonable time last night, and as is typical, I felt pretty good (though still tired) this morning. In another flash of (insight!?) something struck me this morning, something I should do. I felt pretty "energetic" this monring, and it got me to thinking... In eastern thinking, the Dan Tien, specifically the lower dan tien, is a repository for reserve energy. People are born with a certain amount, but can effectively "keep the tank topped off" through meditation & energy circulation. (Ok, that might not be entirely accurate and overly simplified, but I'm going from memory here).
Anyway, I had a thought that I should start "collecting" energy; that one reason I've been feeling bad, physically and mentally, is that I've been burning through all of my reserve energy by drinking, staying up late/not getting enough sleep, and putting constant stress on my body with all of my negative thinking/feeling. Compared to how empty and broke-down I felt yesterday, I really felt like my energy reserves were gr5owing from getting all the sleep I did last night. I want to see if I can continue that "trend" over the next few days/weeks.
I do, however, know myself, and I do know that I'll likely drop this whole idea rather quickly (based on my past history), but I thought it would be a good experiment for me; a little esoteric, which might keep it interesting for me, a little self-pampering, because I'll be taking care of myself in a holistic, "additive" way (as opposed to the "subtractive" energy drain that physical exercise can be), and a bit self-perpetuating, because feeling better makes me want to feel even better yet. (As an aside, I'm still surprised about how positive I can feel here at work, but just how defeated I feel the second I get home.) I hope I'll still want to pursue this tonight after I get home, I'm really curious to see how it will affect me, if it's succeeds the way I think it can.
I just have to keep trying to find something positive to keep my mind on. Once I'm in a new place it'll be a lot easier monetarily - until that happens, I need something that's cost-effective.
Something else just occurred to me - I can't collect energy in my house, because of how negative it all is, so what should I do? It's too cold to just stand out in the yard, or really anywhere outside. I need to find a place to go, somewhere that's warm, indoors, and has a lot of "good vibes"... fat chance...
1:59 p.m. - 2009-11-16
My profile
Archives
Notes
Email Me!
Random
others:
loveherwell
dangerspouse
catsoul
alethia
annanotbob2
life-my-way
fairybones
misfitstray
swordfern
warpednormal
elusive-you
lust-
comebacktome
ahopeinhell
silver4
kelsi
stepfordtart